Funny stuff thread

[Tessa]

When charmseeking reveals all.

Quackerjack heads up a winding path leading up the mountainside to the north (upward).
[FROM Neyah (OOC)]: Prooff the duck is actually the master of the Keep

[Gorth]

Just some pals destroying a dude on the road.

Frosty-Blue helps Neyah (Azurite-Blue) maneuver in to make an attack!
Neyah (Azurite-Blue) takes a staggering swing at a Liberi marksman with her iron scythe!
85 slash damage (right leg)
Frosty-Blue helps Neyah (Azurite-Blue) maneuver in to make an attack!
Neyah (Azurite-Blue) punches at a Liberi marksman with her leather gloves!
49 bludgeon damage (left hand)
Frosty-Blue follows up with an attack of his own!
Frosty-Blue swings at a Liberi marksman with his steel polehammer!
** a Liberi marksman falls unconscious!
30 puncture damage (chest)
You help Frosty-Blue maneuver in to make an attack!
Frosty-Blue punches at a Liberi marksman with his ridgeleather gauntlets!
48 bludgeon damage (abdomen)
A Liberi marksman is staggered!
You follow up with an attack of your own!
You slash at a Liberi marksman with your steel longsword!
122 slash damage (chest)
Nasty slash cuts into the chest. So that's what a ribcage looks like. *mortal*
A Liberi marksman has been defeated.
[+10 merit with the Stormholdt Warrior Guild]
[+10 merit with the Wyrvardn Order]
Neyah (Azurite-Blue) helps you maneuver in to make your attack!
You punch at a Liberi marksman with your steel gauntlets! Melee(d800):749 vs Dodge(d855(-6x)):6 = 743 (92%)
37 bludgeon damage (right arm)
Neyah (Azurite-Blue) follows up with an attack of her own!
Neyah (Azurite-Blue) swings at a Liberi marksman with her iron scythe! Melee(d800(1x)):763 vs Dodge(d855(-6x)):79 = 684 (85%)
132 pierce damage (abdomen)
Piercing strike through the belly! Shish-ka-marksman. *mortal*
Frosty-Blue follows up with an attack of his own!
Frosty-Blue swings at a Liberi marksman with his steel polehammer! Melee(d380([1]x)):380 vs Dodge(d855(-6x)):11 = 369 (97%)
104 puncture damage (neck)
Piercing strike hits the jugular and death quickly follows. *mortal*

Yeah, uh...I was under the impression that followup attacks specifically had internal cooldowns. Apparently not!

[Marcuson]

You see a headless lord.
It is riding an icy-eyed black nightmare steed.

A mad, malevolent laughter emanates from within the blackness of your breastplate's neck!

You state (muffled by a mask), "I see."

You head northeast, riding your chestnut horse.

Descriptions were redacted -- find out in-character yourself! -- but I found this to be a funny exchange!

[Marcuson]

You head east.

[Mistral Lake, Town Square] (OutUr) Mid Afternoon, Mild
You also notice a copper-edged large wooden crate (open), some wanted posters hung on the back of a large post board, a wooden trash barrel, a community post board, a copper water pump, a grumpy pumpkin-lantern labeled "caius", a whimsical pumpkin-lantern labeled "Kordelia", a wrathful pumpkin-lantern labeled "Volinn", a comical pumpkin-lantern labeled "Neyah", a thoughtful pumpkin-lantern labeled "Safiyah", a screaming pumpkin-lantern labeled "Elrond after Lightning Glyph", a small copper needle, a sinister pumpkin-lantern labeled "Lunessa with needle", an agitated pumpkin-lantern labeled "zotikos", a suspicious pumpkin-lantern labeled "Faye", a ghastly pumpkin-lantern labeled "Bianca Having a bad Hair day", an incredulous pumpkin-lantern labeled "Crispus", a silly pumpkin-lantern labeled "alex", a contemplative pumpkin-lantern labeled "Loront", and a brooding pumpkin-lantern labeled "100 percent - C.D".
Also here: a stern soldier (moderately-armored, carrying a handaxe and a shield), and a stern soldier (moderately-armored, carrying a mace and a shield).
Obvious paths: west, north, east, southeast, a general store, a post office.

[Candelori]

There are times one gets too caught up in one's own thoughts and forgets to do something important.

[Old Mine, Church Mess Hall] (shop) (InUrCvRk) Mild
The lighting is slightly dim. Several people are milling about the area. The area is slightly noisy.

order flat qty 5
You set your sights on some average hearty herb-dusted flatbread.
Some lumpy flatbread lightly dusted with herbs for a little flavor.
There are about 7 bites left. (Nutrition: 87%)
It is a small item, mainly made of wheat.

The total price is 43 merit.
You may buy to finalize the order.

buy
You don't have anywhere to store your purchase!

open bac
Open what?

l in bac
Look in what?

inv
You are holding a bar of pine soap in your right hand.
You are wearing a small steel-blue crystal pendant (very faded) and a natural linen loincloth.
Oh dear. Your chest is exposed. You might want to think about covering up if you're going somewhere public.

blush
::SOCIAL:: You blush, feeling your cheeks warm up.

[Frisbee]

Something about the nature of this interaction and the lateness of the hour, after a night of creepy storytelling, had me laughing like an idiot for an embarrassing amount of time.

Chimaera takes a drink from his large clay jar of some pale mushroom wine.
Chimaera says, "Mebbe I'll jus' send it o'er t' them Tse Gaiyan folks. Reckon they'd like it."
Leiana says, "I'd reckon not considering the association."
You say, "It might be a bit of a tough topic with them. Or perhaps they'll welcome friendly murhrooms with relief."
Chimaera sighs heavily, replying, "Reckon you're probably right."
Sarah said 'mushrooms.'
[FROM Chimaera (OOC)]: Murhrooms? Are those like ... murderrooms?
[TO Chimaera (OOC)]: I mean, yes, in the sense that you want to murder everything.
[FROM Chimaera (OOC)]: Red Rum

[Tessa]

I have no idea how this happened.

enc
Encumbrance level: 12
You feel extremely encumbered by all the weight you're carrying. Better find somewhere to unload.

You stare.

hands
You are holding a pine-hafted copper sledgehammer (scuffed) in your right hand and a large amberwood log in your left hand.

weigh log
After hefting your large amberwood log, you figure it weighs about 164 pounds.

Speaking to you, Elrond asks, "How exactly are you carrying that?"
You softly whisper, "I have muscles."

[Gorth]

A Stormholdt warrior arrives, carrying a greatsword.
You see a Stormholdt warrior.
This woman is clad head to foot in full armor, dented and worn but functional. Draped over it, she wears a tabard displaying a black mongoose with teeth bared in an angry snarl.
No obvious wounds or maladies.
She is holding a copper-hilted iron greatsword in her right hand.
She is wearing a bronze helmet, a bronze gorget, a wool tabard, a bronze cuirass, some bronze vambraces, some bronze gauntlets, some bronze greaves, and some bronze sabatons.
You think to yourself, "I do so hope that this Stormholdt woman gets a tattoo."
A Stormholdt warrior heads out.
You think to yourself, "Dammit."

[Verel]

That'd be a pretty neat thing. Also, I find it as amusing as you do.

[Gorth]

The beauty of mistargetting, as always.

::SAY:: A very short lanky man exclaims, "I am his HIGH PUMPLAR! I traveled a long way, heard that Shadgard is a good town that honors the Pumpkin King!"
::SAY:: Sarah (Argent) says, "... No."
::SAY:: A very short lanky man exclaims, "You can call me Knox!"
A very short lanky man bows at the waist.
::EMOTE:: Volinn bows to a bulky brown workhorse with a coarse pale mane immediately.
You stare at Volinn.
Wine-Red smiles at a very short lanky man.
Volinn laughs!