Funny stuff thread

[Frisbee]

After a nice uneventful patrol...

[Women's Baths, Shallow End] (InWtrUrRk) Warm
The area is flooded with shallow water.
Obvious exits: north (deep), south (land).
{Morale +2.00}
You lather up with your bar of sandalwood soap.
You go about scrubbing yourself clean.
Your head and head have been washed clean.

[Rias]

You sure you didn't take an axe to the head that nearly split it down the middle? (I'll look into the bug.)

[Tessa]

I am not the only two headed one! I did report this a bit back, but man I laughed!

[Gorth]

Context: Big logging party. Seven bandits pop out for a wild encounter. Most of us are holding branches and dragging logs. Only two or three of us have actual weapons, but we're swinging like mad and blood is flying:

Dusty-Rose swings at a bandit poacher with her walnut branch!
0 bludgeon damage (0%) (chest, cuirass)

A little later:

A hooded average-height slim youthful man with ashen skin arrives from the north.
Dusty-Rose seems to anticipate an attack from a lean bandit and quickly tumbles out of the way, springing to her feet a moment later!
A bandit poacher looses an arrow at a hooded average-height slim youthful man with ashen skin with his longbow!
13 pierce damage (92%) (abdomen, robe)
A hooded average-height slim youthful man with ashen skin heads south.

Amber helps Dusty-Rose maneuver in to make an attack!
Dusty-Rose swings at a bandit poacher with her walnut branch!
8 bludgeon damage (50%) (chest, cuirass)

Dusty-Rose helps you maneuver in to make your attack!
You punch at a lean bandit with your ridgeleather gauntlets! Melee(d800(1x)):712 vs Dodge(d282(-2x)):57 = 655 (81%)
18 bludgeon damage (56%) (back, cuirass)
Dusty-Rose follows up with an attack of her own!
Dusty-Rose swings at a lean bandit with her walnut branch!
6 bludgeon damage (54%) (right arm, vambraces)

Fweew!

[Gorth]

The 2,500-riln Shadgard Mining Co. promissory note is too large to fit in the brown wool pants.

[Gorth]

::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
You glance incredulously about the area.
::SAY:: You slowly ask, "Ye-es?"
You take a bite of some chevon and thyme stew.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
[TO Eirlys (OOC)]: ..
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.
[TO Eirlys (OOC)]: Did you drop your keyboard on your cat again!
::EMOTE:: Eirlys stares expectantly at Caius.

Sorry, girl. I was just sitting there like...'are you okay, Annielys?'

[Gorth]

...
chest: major wound (bandaged)
...
You lie down on a spartan medical bed.
The spartan medical bed would provide comfortable sleep.

[Gorth]

Sorry for spamming. My character's just having more fun, so I am, too:

You look into a sturdy beech lockbox and collect a leather-bound folder labeled "Contracts", a bar of bay spice soap, a polished ebonwood dye case, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a blank crisp paper document, a leather-bound folder labeled "Wyrvardn", a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a blank papyrus label, a leather-bound folder, a beeswax candle, an owl-feather quill, and a stick of writing charcoal from it.

I don't know why I thought it might not be the case, but yes. You can LOOT anything you want out of lockboxes. Any time. It's awesome.

[Tessa]

Talking about gutcram...

You lightly say, "It tastes like my hopes an' dreams."
You lightly say, "Flat an' uninspirin'."
Caius suggests, "Goat?"
You lightly say, "Seekin' pet goat."
[ESP-GRAY]: A tide-blue entity lightly says, "Seekin' pet goat."
Caius appears to be trying not to grin.
[ESP-GRAY]: A green entity darkly says, "Be better."



I'm trying!

[Gorth]

Still on Gutcram!

::SAY:: Eirlys lightly says, "We ne'er had sweets. E'er. It was wasteful. It was always things that we could eat days of. t' get that instead o' food... gutcram would o' been the answer."
You are holding a ball of seasoned gutcram in your right hand.
[#WHO] * Goodness just logged out.
You take a bite of a ball of seasoned gutcram.

It is goodness, isn't it?