Funny stuff thread

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Marcuson
Posts: 226
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:29 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Marcuson »

In the thick parchment package labeled "Octum" you see ...
a juniper nightmare-trap
a painted black pine wraith mask
a small emberberry tartlet
a small rock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCf2ZZLHy-k
Prism
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:44 pm
Location: SHADGARD, BABEH

"Good horse."

Post by Prism »

"Ya' can tell a lotta' 'bout a gent by the horse he rides in on."
-Zeldryn W. Havarrian III, (probably), Octum 1217

You head down some switchbacks winding down the mountainside, riding Nimbus.
[Woodland Road] (OutWldFrFlDt) Late Evening, Chilly, Mostly Cloudy, Calm
The area consists of earthy woodland, the ground dotted with foliage. A road leads northwest. Mountains block passage to the northeast, east, southeast, south, southwest, and west. Impassable hills block passage to the north.
You're barely able to see at all in the near-complete darkness. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: (npc)a wispy black lost spirit and (npc)Nimbus (ridden by yourself).
Obvious paths: northwest (road), some switchbacks winding up the mountainside.
(You've reached a wilderness road. You can use the travel command to automatically follow it, and may use the stop command to stop auto-traveling at any time.)
A wispy black lost spirit grasps at you with its chilling touch!
dodged!
Nimbus kicks at a wispy black lost spirit with its hooves! Melee(d500):53 vs Dodge(d103(-2x)):14 = 39 (7%)
0 crush damage (0%) (right leg)

You set out to traveling along the northwest road until it stops or you get to a fork.
You can stop at any time.
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
A wispy black lost spirit grasps at you with its chilling touch!
dodged!
Nimbus kicks at a wispy black lost spirit with its hooves! Melee(d500):134 vs Dodge(d103(-2x)):15 = 119 (23%)
0 crush damage (0%) (right arm)

(Literally fifteen seconds later as I'm a little bit too slow on the uptake while re-reading my log as I travel)

You head northeast, riding Nimbus.
[Wooded Mountains Road] (OutWldFrMtFlDt) Late Evening, Chilly, Mostly Cloudy, Calm
The area consists of earthy wooded mountains, the ground dotted with foliage. A road leads southwest. Mountains block passage to the northwest, north, northeast, east, southeast, south, and west.
You're barely able to see at all in the near-complete darkness. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: (npc)a wispy black angry spirit and (npc)Nimbus (ridden by yourself).
Obvious paths: southwest (road), a winding mountain trail.
Traveltime: 3 seconds.
(energy -2)
You've reached the end of the wilderness road you've been traveling.
[Done moving.]
A wispy black angry spirit appears increasingly agitated ...
A wispy black angry spirit grasps at you with its chilling touch!
dodged!
Nimbus runs at a wispy black angry spirit with its galloping charge! Melee(d500):153 vs Dodge(d103(-2x)):27 = 126 (25%)
0 bludgeon damage (0%) (left arm)
go trail
Your mount is incapable of moving at the moment!
You fend off an attack from a wispy black angry spirit with your throwing-axe!

You head up a winding mountain trail, riding Nimbus.
[North Balkr Pass] (OutMtRkDt) Late Evening, Cold, Clear, Calm
Skirting a drop toward a small lake basin to the north, the mountain path turns abruptly southward toward a winding #trail that descends toward a widening and straighter path below. A scattering of pines, firs, and an occasional aspen sprout up here and there in patches of earth soft enough to provide adequate soil.
You're barely able to see at all in the near-complete darkness. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: (npc)Nimbus (ridden by yourself).
Obvious paths: west, a winding mountain trail.

You think to yourself, "Good horse."

You pet Nimbus.
"The sky, above the clouds; A rainbow that fate has devoured
I gave up Hope
But I'm not going to be lost tomorrow; Even if it is hell
I'm gonna' crawl. "
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Delphine
Posts: 134
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:36 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Delphine »

Cerise skips arm day, clearly.
Black points at a large orange pumpkin.

Black says, "And a contest for you to enter."

l pumpkin
You take a closer look at a large orange pumpkin in the area ...
The pumpkins are quite large. Feel free to toss one if you want to participate in the Pumpkin Toss event!
It looks like this area is set up for keeping records on how far people can toss the pumpkin.
Daily record: 106 aum by Black
Monthly record: 106 aum by Black

Cerise glances over at the large orange pumpkin and then slowly blinks up at Black. "As if I could best you in that."

You pick up a large orange pumpkin.
You heave a large orange pumpkin through the air!
Toss distance: 1 aum!
(energy -36)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

(Did not break daily record of 106 aum.)

"That was... I shall not comment further," Black says, trying not to smirk.

Cerise shoots Black a *look* before she primly huffs, "Not *all* of us are hulking Giganti, Black."

Black chuckles quietly to himself, and nods his head slightly.
You think to yourself, "I am surrounded by idiots and petulant children."

You experience a sudden flash of insight, as though you have an increased understanding of who you are.
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Rias
DEV
Posts: 2024
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 4:06 pm
Location: Wandering Temicotli

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Rias »

We all know that 99% of the time people say something made them laugh out loud, it's an exaggeration and they really mean they rapidly exhaled through their nose at best. This was one of the 1% times though, because I actually laughed out loud.
<Rias> PUT ON PANTS
<Fellborn> NO
Gorth
Posts: 581
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2021 11:53 am
Location: Michigan

I AM GOD!

Post by Gorth »

Rias swings at you with his uberite banhammer! Melee(d1100):320 vs Dodge(d263([1]x)):78 = 242 (22%)
You reach out to catch the blow with your gauntleted hand!
5 pwn damage (right hand)
A solid yank on the banhammer pulls attacker off-balance!
*** You counterattack!
You punch at Rias with your ridgeleather gauntlets! Melee(d270):192 vs Parry(d1100):241 = -49 (-18%)
parried!
You punch at Rias with your ridgeleather gauntlets! Melee(d270):27 vs Parry(d1100):80 = -53 (-19%)
parried!
:undm_scales_key: :shagerd:
Proud owner of the ten thousandth post.
Gorth
Posts: 581
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2021 11:53 am
Location: Michigan

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Gorth »

You carefully examine a massive pile of silver riln that is in an ash-planked handcart labeled "redacted" ...
Thin silver coins, stamped with the Crown of Aetgard.
There are 16,100 coins there.
It is a tiny item, mainly made of silver.
Tiny, huh?
:undm_scales_key: :shagerd:
Proud owner of the ten thousandth post.
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Guillaumo
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2022 4:52 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Guillaumo »

I'm terribly immature sometimes, but I made myself chuckle.
exam cuirass
You carefully examine a deer leather cuirass (scuffed) that you are wearing
...
You see nothing particularly unusual about the deer leather cuirass
(scuffed).
It has the following minor components:
a skein of nut-brown squirrel wool thread
a copper buckle
some copper rivets
It is a huge item, mainly made of deer leather.
When worn, it will cover and provide significant warmth for the following
body locations: back, chest, abdomen
It would be covered by apparel worn in the following slots: robe
It would conflict with apparel worn in the following slots: dress and
sweater.
It can be worn in the cuirass inventory slot.
It is a protective garment of the leather type, classified as light armor,
and would afford the following levels of protection:
Bludgeon: 50%
Crush: 30%
Hack: 40%
Pierce: 30%
Puncture: 30%
Rake: 40%
Slash: 50%
It appears to be scuffed (69%).
It appears to be of average(+0) quality.
Roundtime: 3 seconds.

>>RT:3 Eng DODGE! E:450 B:0 Enc:2 Mrl:+0.17 Ntr:80% Exp:59%
You say, "Nice."
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HeckTurtle
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2021 8:11 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by HeckTurtle »

This will look really random, but naming fails.
::MOVEMENT:: Hoarfrost-Blue arrives from the northeast.

::MOVEMENT:: Hoarfrost-Blue heads into a general store.

::MOVEMENT:: Nora arrives from the west, carrying a sickle.
1 horse follows.

name blue as pantsguy
You will now recall a blue-roan overo horse with blue eyes as Pantsguy.

forget pantsguy
You will no longer recall the name "Pantsguy."
(I promise there's a reason for trying to assign that name to someone.)
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Teri »

I don't think I've tied a roll before so.. it made me laugh

(Changing your combat mode to Engage.)
You reach toward a skeletal seaman ... Pull(d395(1+[1]x)):154 vs Mark(d175):154 = 0 (0%)
You notice a skeletal seaman glance your way, causing you to quickly withdraw your hand from its
coin pouch (open).
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Frisbee »

[#WHO] * Logout just logged in. Suspicious.
[#WHO] * Logout just logged out.
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
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