Funny stuff thread

[Verel]

I had no plan whatsoever with this.

You search the remains of a rotting hill guardian for any items of note ...
You find 249 riln.
[+249 riln, stowed in your heavy canvas backpack (open)]
You bury the remains of a rotting hill guardian.
You search the remains of a rotting hill guardian for any items of note ...
You find 184 riln.
[+184 riln, stowed in your heavy canvas backpack (open)]
You bury the remains of a rotting hill guardian.
You have 666 riln in coins:

If only this had happened on Halloween.

[Tessa]

I woke up very sick to this.

[ESP-GRAY]: A dogwood-rose entity asks, "Don' reckon someone'd be kind 'nough t' bring by a chest're somethin' t' the workyard for me?"

*blindly orders 'chest' at the market, doesn't check*

You drop a knitted gray wool chest-wrap.
You stare.
Chimaera stares at a knitted gray wool chest-wrap.
You sigh.
[TO Squeak (OOC)]: shut up
[#WHO] * Shadowcat just logged in.
Chimaera opens his mouth to say something and then thinks better of it.

I was just trying to be helpful!

[Gorth]

::SAY:: Speaking to Volinn, you offer, "I've brought him here for the mugging."
::EMOTE:: Volinn bobs his head agreeably, "Typically, I'd inquire of you not to inform the man prior, but it'll do."
Volinn takes a bite of some boiled and buttered mudbugs.
Polliv Roivan (Incarnadine) kicks a clump of dust at Volinn! Off(d190(1x)):138 vs Def(d550(-5+[1]x)):112 = 26 (13%)
A direct hit to the face!
Volinn draws back, squinting and blinking in an attempt to clear his eyes.
Volinn is staggered *and stunned*!
Polliv Roivan (Incarnadine) heads out.
Volinn no longer appears staggered.
::SAY:: You say, "I informed him during, but as y l--."
Volinn blinks.
Volinn manages to blink the debris clear of his eyes.
[TO Volinn (OOC)]: HE HIT YOU!
[TO Volinn (OOC)]: He managed to [redacted] hit you I'm dead.
::EMOTE:: Volinn blinks a few more times, shaking his head vigorously.
An average-height athletic black-haired adult man with tan skin and hazel eyes laughs!
::EMOTE:: Volinn stares down at his now-dirty mudbugs with some vague hint of sadness.
::SAY:: You offer, "Good hit. Last time someone did that to me...well..."
Your small blue-gray crystal pendant (somewhat faded) pulses as you attempt to project your speech over the ESP network.
[ESP-GRAY]: A blue-gray entity offers, "Good hit. Last time someone did that to me...well..."

[Gorth]

::SAY:: You say, "Right. Be bloody careful."
You will now automatically attempt to keep your distance from melee attackers.
(Changing your combat mode to Avoid.)
You head east, riding Kyveli.
[Tanglewood Retreat] (OutFrFlDt) Mid Afternoon, Mild, Foggy, Calm
The narrow dirt path follows a small brooklet from east to west, turning here and there to avoid tall oaks and walnut trees. Tall hills rise to the north on the other side of the small stream, speckled with small boulders and tall trees.
There is a thin cloud of fog here. The area is mostly quiet.
Some tall steamstalk mushrooms exudes warmth.
You also notice some tall steamstalk mushrooms.
Also here: (npc)an infested knoll yeti (carrying a wall), (npc)Kyveli (group, ridden by yourself), and Ursun (group Second, Stormholdt patrol, moderately-armored, carrying a warmaul, riding Wroth, bloody, gore-spattered).
Obvious paths: west, east, south.
You were followed by 1 man.
You ride your charger in a circle around an infested knoll yeti as you look for an opportunity to strike. Off(d800(4+[1]x)):668 vs Def(d265):34 = 634 (79%)
You manage to improve your balance and position.
[Balance +8]
An infested knoll yeti smashes at Ursun with its wooden wall! Melee(d760(1x)):514 vs Def(d800):8 = 506 (66%)
36 crush damage (43%) (back, vest)
An infested knoll yeti is spattered with blood and gore!
Ursun is sent flying southward!
A decent fall with a chance for minor injuries.

[Bonehead]

Maybe one day I will find the event funny. Currently, after a week of defeats, I find it infuriating. Embarrassing, and frankly makes me wonder why I wasted six months leveling a class I obviously can't understand how to make *work*

[Jaster]

You notice King Bryce reaching discreetly into your brown wool trousers! Seeing your attention, he quickly withdraws his hand.

[ThresherAle]

Just trying to make all those people giving the "Do unto others" advice feel justified, since:

You notice (NAME) Raggerton reaching discreetly into your umber wool trousers! Seeing your attention, he quickly withdraws his hand.

[Gorth]

An infested wild turkey angrily exclaims, "Globbleobbleobble!!"

[Gorth]

Sarah (Argent) reaches into a square aspen table without looking, apparently content to retrieve an item at random.
Sarah (Argent) removes a melted-cheese sandwich from on a square aspen table.

In to?

[Tessa]

Irelys turns, spotting Seawise. Momentarily distracted, she darts over, giving the animal a big hug.
[+0.6 Melee Combat practice]



DID I KILL HIM????????