Funny stuff thread

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Vaelin
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2021 9:29 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Vaelin »

Speaking to you, Erio says, "Well it's hard to look at someone's face when it is concealed."
Erio grins.
You ask, "Did you stare lower?"
Speaking to you, Erio exclaims, "I never stare!"
You amusedly say, "I do believe you."
Speaking to you, Erio exclaims, "It's not polite nor discreet!"
You lightly ask, "Erie, so you just glanced?"
Erio exclaims, "Perhaps!"
"If I didn't enjoy the company of the both of you, I'll need to get creative." Alora saysm, giving into a chuckle in spite of herself.
Speaking to Alora, Erio asks, "To get creative for what?"
You say, "Creative? I don't have any art supplies with me..."
Speaking to you, Erio says, "And this is one of these times where one could drop a sentence like art supplies? but you two ladies are already a work of art! Or something like that."
Erio says, "Never been good at that stuff."
You say, "And I think I died from how terrible that line is."
You smile.
Erio says, "It's cheaper than a stiletto, then? Oh well, I'll question my life choices later."
"You, are truly incorrigible." Alora says to Erio, unsuccessfully fighting down a feint smile. "As for getting creative mm, Mel knows, I am certain."
Erio says, "Me? Incorrigible! But that is absolutely, undeniably, with extreme certainty not tr... Mh, okay yes it's true."
You blink.
"And, my point stands." forming a fingergun with with her index and middle finger, Alora makes a shooting motion at Erio.
You've fully reflected on your recent experiences and are ready to learn from new ones.
[Gained -8 experience]
Erio gasps, bringing a hand to his chest to cover a bullet wound that isn't there and falls backwards, convincingly enough, like a puppet whose strings were just cut.
Roll(d250(1x)):227 vs CR(50):50 = 177 (70%)
Erio drops to the ground in a smooth tumble before springing to his feet.
At Erio's antics, Alora buries her face in her hands, shoulders shaking with silent mirth. "I do hope the constabulary was not alerted." she finally manages to gasp.
Erio narrates, "There he lied, white hair splayed around his head like a crown, red expanding below him to form a cloak for his body to lyay upon. Noone came, for the warehouse, quiet and abandoned, was not a castle but a place of shadier business..."
Speak to whom?
Speaking to Erio, you monotonously say, "Oh no, Erie got shot... I need to bury the body now."
Speaking to you, Erio exclaims, "At least you won't need to dig a big grave!"
Finally managing to regain some semblence of her composure, Alora turns to Melina, "I haven't forgotten you, Dear Mel." with that, she forms the finger gun again, making a shooting motion at Melina.
Melina fals down dramatically on her knees, then face down, arms splayed... And snoring.
You kneel down.
You lie down.
Erio narrates, "Not a sound escaped the dark and dusty warehouse, not for the first, nor the second gunshot, the skill of the shooter unparalleled. With a rustle of clothes the second body fell, hair just as white cascading over her face as the kneeling position turned into a forward fall, breath leaving her lungs in one last, unexpected, snore..."
"Ah, wonderful." nodding to Erio, Alora kneels by Melina, making a motion as if to rifle through her pockets.
(Insert appropriate smiley)
silly
Posts: 52
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:39 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by silly »

You take a moment to try and sense any other auras present in your current ESP network ...
You sense other auras connected to your current ESP network:
aquamarine cyan night-blue
brass deep-mauve peach
brick-red deep-pink testing
bronze-yellow
You don't sense any auras that have recently triggered the Deathknell.

(Please test away! This was just amusing to read mixed in with all the other colours.)
Using your hands, you work at washing a wash basin at a wash basin.
A wash basin is now clean.
Gorth
Posts: 581
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2021 11:53 am
Location: Michigan

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Gorth »

You convey your command to your charger ...
Kyveli kicks at an infested ranger with its hooves! Melee(d500):322 vs Dodge(d713(-1x)):694 = -372 (-74%)
dodged!
An infested ranger's dodge lures Kyveli into some thick gnarled tree-roots!
Kyveli falls to the ground!
You fall from Kyveli!
12 bludgeon damage (30%) (right arm, vambraces)
I missed the opportunity to grumpily mutter about how even tenyeared riders fall on their ass from time to time.
:undm_scales_key: :shagerd:
Proud owner of the ten thousandth post.
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Frisbee »

[Bandit Camp, Campfire] (scavenge?) (OutDt) Early Morning, Mild
Also here: (npc)a lean bandit (lightly-armored, carrying a mace).
Obvious paths: west, northwest, east, south.
An attendant stops by to extinguish a lit campfire.
I didn't know bandits employed staff to look after their fires :D
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
silly
Posts: 52
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:39 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by silly »

Volinn stands up.
Volinn brushes off his rump, then takes a seat on one of the benches.
Volinn sits down on a simple wooden bench.
[FROM Volinn (OOC)]: [OOC-BugStatus: Bug #9937 submitted by you has been closed: There are benches in the description of the Waterfall Shrine, but they're not physically present. My character's rump took 50 damage from having to sit on the ground and I find that despicable!]
[FROM Volinn (OOC)]: [Bug was closed with the following note: May the closing of this bug soothe your wounded rump like a gently-applied dab of hillant unguent.]
[TO Volinn (OOC)]: HAHAHAHA
You stand up.
Nora slowly gets to her feet, glances curiously at Volinn, then sits back down right where she was.
You sit down deliberately on the floor. So uncivilized.
[#WHO] Silly has been granted the OOC postname title of: stood up just to make a point
Using your hands, you work at washing a wash basin at a wash basin.
A wash basin is now clean.
silly
Posts: 52
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:39 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by silly »

You see a tall lean brown-haired adult man with fair skin and ale-brown eyes, whom you know as Volinn.
He is about six feet tall and appears to be an adult. He has long unkempt brown hair and hooded ale-brown eyes. His skin is fair and build is lean.
No obvious wounds or maladies.
He is holding some dirt in his right hand.
Speaking to Volinn, you ask, "What's that in your hand?"
Volinn glances at the dirt in his hand.
Volinn says, "Ah, right."
Volinn throws some dirt at your face!
A direct hit to the face!
You draw back, squinting and blinking in an attempt to clear your eyes.
[Balance -5]
You are staggered *and stunned* for 5 seconds!

(There have been a lot of hilarious moments lately. Sorry for the double post!)
Using your hands, you work at washing a wash basin at a wash basin.
A wash basin is now clean.
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Frisbee »

You see a tall lean brown-haired adult man with fair skin and ale-brown eyes, whom you know as Volinn.
He is about six feet tall and appears to be an adult. He has long messy brown hair pulled back into a thick braid with several shorter tendrils having escaped, and hooded ale-brown eyes. His skin is fair and build is lean.
Speaking to Volinn, Lionel asks, "Did you have him do that to your hair deliberately, or have you messed it up, since then?"
Pigeon grins at Volinn.
Speaking to Lionel, Volinn exclaims, "I went out to Tanglewood!"
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Frisbee »

When you come across a worn piece of paper and you think you've made the discovery of the century.
You take a closer look at a dirty and greasy note that you are holding ...
Something for writing on.
You might try to read it (Common Letters).
You might be able to light it.
You read a dirty and greasy note (Common Letters) that you are holding:
ANDZ OFF MA LOOT
... Thoroughly amused. Sorry for the double post.
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
Gorth
Posts: 581
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2021 11:53 am
Location: Michigan

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Gorth »

*Long conversation with Baerig. 'AILI IS HERE'.*
::EMOTE:: ?Aili? soon gets distracted and wanders off.
Baerig stops ?Aili? and informs her that she can't pass while her identity is disguised.
?Aili? briefly removes her face covering to show her face to the guard and is waved through.
?Aili? heads south.
:undm_scales_key: :shagerd:
Proud owner of the ten thousandth post.
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Most Pointless Struggle Ever

Post by Frisbee »

An infested giant uncinupede bites at you with its acid-dripping mandibles! Melee(d640(1x)):625 vs Dodge(d415(-7x)):36 = 589 (92%)
** The world around you goes black as you fall unconscious!
39 pierce damage (53%) (back, cuirass)
13 acid damage (44%) (back, cuirass)
You try to recover your wits and balance! Roll(d114):51 vs CR(50):50 = 1 (0%)
You break out of your staggered and stunned state!
(energy -30)
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
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