Funny stuff thread

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HeckTurtle
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2021 8:11 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by HeckTurtle »

This is something that happened ages ago. Re-found it recently and decided to throw it here for others' enjoyment. The things you walk in on, sometimes...
::MOVEMENT:: You head north.
[Wooded Mountains Road] (OutWldFrMtFlDt) Afternoon, Cold, Clear, Slight Breeze
The area consists of earthy wooded mountains, the ground dotted with foliage. A road leads northeast and south. Mountains block passage to the northwest, north, east, southwest, and west. Impassible hills block passage to the southeast.
The area is mostly quiet.
You also notice a game trail heading into the foothills to the east.
Also here: Ensign.
Obvious paths: northeast (road), south (road), a game trail.

^^/
^@^
^|H


Traveltime: 4 seconds.
(energy -6)
>>TT:4 [MOVING] Eng E:480 B:0 Enc:2 Mrl:+1.31 Paranoid Ntr:65% Exp:0%
[Moving stopped and movement queue cleared.]
You stop traveling along the road.
>>TT:3 Eng E:480 B:0 Enc:2 Mrl:+1.31 Paranoid Ntr:65% Exp:0%
::SAY:: A voice warns (muffled), "Oh, also, much unneeded word of advice, clothing is a royal waste of one's time, you just end up feeling as exposed with it on as you would with it off. And --."
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Talyn
Posts: 145
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:54 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Talyn »

You say, "If this kills me.."

You pour some watery dark purple-gray juice from a rough pine barrel to a gold goblet.
a rough pine barrel of some watery dark purple-gray juice has some some watery dark purple-gray juice left over.
a gold goblet of some watery dark purple-gray juice is full.


You take a drink from your gold goblet of some watery dark purple-gray juice.
Quite sour, but with an underlying sweetness.

Baako wrinkles his nose and makes a face.

Faye (Incarnadine) giggles at you!

Speaking to you, Merri (Orchid) asks, "Does it taste like emberberry?"

A bit of targeting fails but Faye asks for Baako's Goblet, saying "Goblet."

Baako holds his gold goblet of some watery dark purple-gray juice possessively and shakes his head.

Mikael (Dark-Green) chuckles at you.

Faye (Incarnadine) pouts.

Baako continues making a disgusted face as he drinks from his gold goblet of some watery dark purple-gray juice.

Baako shakes and shudders with another sip.

Speaking to you, Maya (Red) says, "Ahm...ya wanta trade? Or somethin'? Ya look like it hurts ya.

Speaking to Maya (Red), Faye (Incarnadine) grins, "Can't you tell he's just being dramatic? He's fine with it."

You stoicly admit, "I"m fine.."

Baako leaves to pour out that nasty juice and replaces it with something else.

You take a drink from your gold goblet of pale golden-brown liquid.
Notes of lemongrass and honeydew lend themselves to a crisp, refreshing oak-aged finish.

Baako sighs happily after taking a drink of his gold goblet of pale golden-brown liquid and swoons, "So much better than that mud water."

Baako doesn't like Emberberries
I'm Not Accepting Surrenders At This Time. I Want You To Know Failure, Utter Defeat, And That It Is I Who Delivers It Crashing Down Upon You.
-NotRias
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Teri »

Too small to stab, apparently
You thrust your javelin into the water at an orange-striped perch (3 inches)! strike(d452):1 vs
fish(d216):113 = -112 (-24%)
Missed! The orange-striped perch (3 inches) quickly darts away.
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Frisbee »

[ESP-GRAY]: A vanilla entity announces, "Heehaw, pardy pals! My name be Dylan! The only thing I love more than my daughter's inhalin' dirt through my nose! Come visit my farm for guidance on growin' dirt from Shadgard's premier dirt farmer. Bulk orders accepted, and discounts for the old and infirm -- like me!"
[ESP-GRAY]: An argent entity placidly asks, "Are you drunk?"
[ESP-GRAY]: An incarnadine entity says, "I think he lost a bet."
[ESP-GRAY]: An argent entity says, "Ah."
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
Navi
Posts: 350
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2020 7:07 am

Re: Funny stuff thread But it can get classier

Post by Navi »

You set your sights on some average Mistveil Chardonnay.
A bartender tells you about the item.
"Imported from the Mistveil Dominion - you can't get classier than this!"
some pale golden-brown liquid
You'll need to be holding a drink holder in hand to purchase this item.
The total price is 9,600 riln (32 fingers of drink to fill your bowl at 300 per).
You may buy to finalize the order.
In the clay bowl you see some blueberries (x10) and a round piece of emberberry candy (x10).
There is plenty of room left in the clay bowl.
You pay 9,600 riln and have your clay bowl filled with some average Mistveil Chardonnay.
You hand over a 14,780-riln Shadgard Mining Co. promissory note and receive your change in the form of a 5,180-riln Shadgard Mining Co. promissory note.
You close a knitted white wool drawstring pouch.
You open a rope-bound dusky-gray teased wool duffel bag.
You can't do that with your hands full.
You are holding a 5,180-riln Shadgard Mining Co. promissory note in your right hand and a clay bowl of pale golden-brown liquid in your left hand.
You put a 5,180-riln Shadgard Mining Co. promissory note into your rope-bound dusky-gray teased wool duffel bag (open).
You remove a small silver cup from the rope-bound dusky-gray teased wool duffel bag (open) you are wearing.
You close a rope-bound dusky-gray teased wool duffel bag.
You pour pale golden-brown liquid from a clay bowl to a small silver cup.
a clay bowl of pale golden-brown liquid has some pale golden-brown liquid left over.
a small silver cup of pale golden-brown liquid is full.
You take a drink from your small silver cup of pale golden-brown liquid.
Notes of lemongrass and honeydew lend themselves to a crisp, refreshing oak-aged finish.
You think to yourself, "Hmm, could i resell this as Redrock Chardonnay?"
wander without wanting, thrust into lands unknown. the shadows shift and change, and the worlds with them.
I'm not a soldier but I'm fighting
Can you hear me through the silence?
I won't give up 'cause there will be a day
We'll meet again
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Teri »

Mourn Mvp for holding up Black
** Black falls unconscious!

Black slowly regains consciousness.


Using a small steel needle and some leftover white sheep wool thread, ?Keleran? sews up the wound on
Black's left arm.`


Black (GROUP LEADER, severely wounded, exhausted, lying down, heavily-armored, carrying a
polehammer, riding moderately wounded Mourn, bloody, sweaty,)
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Some Classic Roen

Post by Frisbee »

I don't know why but this had me laughing harder than I've laughed in a long time.

Some context. I was out getting paper and I was expected to arrive at an inn room, but because of the way inn rooms are currently you can't really enter unless someone leads you into them. My character was told to knock when she was done. So here's what we did.
[ESP-GRAY]: An argent entity suggests, "Knock knock."
[ESP-GRAY]: An incarnadine entity queries, "Who's there?"
[ESP-GRAY]: An argent entity exclaims, "Never mind!"
[ESP-GRAY]: A pale-gold entity says, "Sarah. It is impolite to knock upon another's doors and leave without conversation."
[ESP-GRAY]: An argent entity sing-songs, "Sorry!"
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
Onasaki
Posts: 90
Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 9:20 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Onasaki »

This isn't super funny. But I thought it was silly.
Experience: 291,999 / Next: 292,000
Until Next: 1
I have two forces by my side,
One's the truth and one's a lie,
Which one's which I cannot tell,
This enigma is my hell.

Baako leads you over to the grass to graze.
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Teri »

get my mask
You remove an exquisite enigmatic vulpine mask from the heavy canvas backpack (open) you are
wearing.


wear mask
You put an exquisite enigmatic vulpine mask on your head.


Lucy gasps at you.


Lucy says, "Holy hells that was yer FACE."

You eye Lucy speculatively.

Speaking to Lucy, Faye says, "There's thread in the handcard at my camp, if you want to run out and
grab it for Hreidun to prove you've worked."


Lucy says, "I didn't recognize yer, boss."

You cackle!


remove mask
You take off an exquisite enigmatic vulpine mask.

squint lucy
You squint at Lucy.


Suzy comments, "Thought it was part of her face sometimes, really."

Faye affirms, "Might as well be."

Speaking to Suzy, Crispus suggests, "It is. She just has several. Very crafty of her."
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
User avatar
Delphine
Posts: 134
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:36 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Delphine »

Black dryly says, "travel ne."

Black heads northeast, riding Mourn.
You follow Black.
You think to yourself, "I am surrounded by idiots and petulant children."

You experience a sudden flash of insight, as though you have an increased understanding of who you are.
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