Funny stuff thread

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Delphine
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Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:36 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Delphine »

LOL same. It was just so perfect.
You think to yourself, "I am surrounded by idiots and petulant children."

You experience a sudden flash of insight, as though you have an increased understanding of who you are.
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saladbowl
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:35 pm

Vandin conversation progress report

Post by saladbowl »

Florenza spends a moment running a hand through her hair, looks back at you, and then nods an agreement. "I like being bald."
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Teri »

Roen distractedly advises, "Please do not break people over cards."

Remilia snickers.

Florenza asks, "It is fine to break them over something else?"

Roen says, "Tables."

You laugh!

Florenza glances at a square pine table.
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
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Delphine
Posts: 134
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:36 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Delphine »

And this is why you shouldn't play hide and seek in a certain cellar :lol:
Giving in to primal fear, you run through a destroyed barricade!

[Hillside Fort, Collapsed Cell] (InUr) Chilly
The floor of this small cell has been constructed from anything it seems the residents have been able to get their hands on. Planks and logs span a huge hole in a haphazard manner, with stones, crates, barrels, and even a bed having been thrown onto them to weigh it all down.
The area is poorly-lit. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: a bandit dervish (lightly-armored, carrying a hatchet) (x2), a bandit dervish (lightly-armored, carrying a rapier) (x4), a bandit dervish (lightly-armored, carrying a falchion) (x3), a bandit goliath (heavily-armored, carrying a longsword) (x2), a bandit champion (moderately-armored, carrying a glaive) (x3), a bandit champion (moderately-armored, carrying a poleaxe), and a bandit goliath (heavily-armored, carrying a polehammer).
Obvious exits: a destroyed barricade.

A bandit dervish feints preparing to hurl a hatchet at you!
You fall for the ruse, moving to avoid a blow that never came!

Anticipating an attack from a bandit dervish, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!

A bandit dervish crouches and sweeps a leg at you!
You avoid the sweep!

A bandit champion helps a bandit dervish maneuver in to make an attack!
A bandit dervish slashes at you with her iron falchion!
parried!

A bandit dervish circles around you warily, looking for an opportunity to strike.
a bandit dervish manages to improve her balance and position.

A bandit dervish feints preparing to hurl a hatchet at you!
You fall for the ruse, moving to avoid a blow that never came!

A bandit dervish circles around you warily, looking for an opportunity to strike.
a bandit dervish manages to improve his balance and position.

A bandit champion faces you and speaks a strange word, dredging up feelings of horror!
Your mind is overwhelmed with feelings of supernatural horror!

Giving in to primal fear, you run through a destroyed barricade!
You think to yourself, "I am surrounded by idiots and petulant children."

You experience a sudden flash of insight, as though you have an increased understanding of who you are.
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Dirt, and MVP Mourn log From Last Year

Post by Teri »




Black says, "Towards the southwest."

?Florenza? points her ash-gray wool yarn sling at a weathered wooden dock.

?Baako? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Holy.."

peer dock
You peer into a weathered wooden dock and see ...

[Tarueka, Riverboat Dock] (OutUr) Late Afternoon, Sweltering hot, Clear, Slight Breeze
Extending several yards along the bank of the river, the run-down wooden dock looks like it has seen
only crude maintenance in recent years. A few open crates have been placed haphazardly on the
graying planks, their lids long gone. A sluggish but steady current causes the river to murmur
quietly. Wooden planks allow passage back to the southern riverbank.
There is a thin cloud of fog here. The area is mostly quiet.
The area is warmed by some tall steamstalk mushrooms.
You also notice some tall steamstalk mushrooms.
Also here:
an infested colossus (heavily-armored, carrying a glaive)
Obvious paths: south.

>>Eng E:480 B:0 Enc:2 Mrl:+2.62 Ntr:64% Guarded Wound:1 Exp:118%
Black says, "It's just north of the northwest gate."

blink
You blink.

>>Eng E:480 B:0 Enc:2 Mrl:+2.62 Ntr:64% Guarded Wound:1 Exp:118%
?Florenza? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Um."

Allie exclaims, "-- What is THAT!"

A voice says (muffled), "Looks big."






?Baako? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Don't know but it dies."

A voice says (muffled), "That was not there when I checked last time."

Allie says, "Mind its weapon, its got reach."

?Baako? asks (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Ready?"

?Florenza? nods slowly.

?Ciadon? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "No."




?Ciadon? scoops up a handful of dirt.

?Ciadon? puts some dirt into his azure wool duffel bag (open).

?Ciadon? scoops up a handful of dirt.

?Ciadon? puts some dirt into his azure wool duffel bag (open).


You say (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Not really."


?Ciadon? scoops up a handful of dirt.

?Ciadon? puts some dirt into his azure wool duffel bag (open).

?Ciadon? scoops up a handful of dirt.

?Ciadon? puts some dirt into his azure wool duffel bag (open).

Allie says, "Go for the legs. knock it down."

get dirt
?Ciadon? scoops up a handful of dirt.




?Ciadon? puts some dirt into his azure wool duffel bag (open).







get dirt
You scoop up a handful of dirt.

[#GAME] <Talyn> haha! that image. No I'm not ready. Starts tossing dirt into their bag.


You put some dirt into your thick leather back-pouch (open).

get dirt
You scoop up a handful of dirt.

stow dirt
You put some dirt into your thick leather back-pouch (open).


?Florenza? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Right."


You scoop up a handful of dirt.



You put some dirt into your thick leather back-pouch (open).




You nod.


You scoop up a handful of dirt.


stow dirt
You put some dirt into your thick leather back-pouch (open).
A few minutes of fighting, later:

?Baako? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Okay."



?Baako? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Let's deal with the big one."



?Florenza? nods.




Black says, "Finally. Some fun."

?Baako? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Moving."

Black stops guarding ?Florenza?.

Allie exclaims, "Like I said, lets try to hobble it, take it down, aim for the legs!"


?Baako? heads into a weathered wooden dock, riding I'Firya.

You follow ?Baako?.

[Balance -8]
A thick leather back-pouch (levitating, open) floats into the area.

[Tarueka, Riverboat Dock] (OutUr) Late Afternoon, Sweltering hot, Clear, Slight Breeze
Extending several yards along the bank of the river, the run-down wooden dock looks like it has seen
only crude maintenance in recent years. A few open crates have been placed haphazardly on the
graying planks, their lids long gone. A sluggish but steady current causes the river to murmur
quietly. Wooden planks allow passage back to the southern riverbank.
There is a thin cloud of fog here. The area is mostly quiet.
The area is warmed by some tall steamstalk mushrooms.
You also notice some tall steamstalk mushrooms and a thick leather back-pouch (levitating, open).
Also here:
?Baako? (GROUP LEADER, severely wounded, lightly-armored, carrying a rapier, disguised, riding
moderately wounded I'Firya, bloody, sweaty, guarding you)
?Ciadon? (group, lightly wounded, carrying a crossbow, disguised)
?Florenza? (group, lightly-armored, carrying a sling, disguised, smells of lavender)
Allie (group, heavily-armored, carrying a longsword, smells of lavender)
Black (group, lightly wounded, heavily-armored, carrying a polehammer, riding lightly wounded
Mourn, bloody)
an infested colossus (heavily-armored, carrying a glaive)
Obvious paths: south.



@
|
.

An infested colossus swings at Black with his copper glaive! Melee(d700):233 vs
Parry(d563([1]x)):469 = -236 (-33%)
parried!

*** Black counterattacks!
Black punches at an infested colossus with his ridgeleather gauntlets! Melee(d645(2x)):186 vs
Parry(d-83(-2x)):-84 = 270 (41%)
an infested colossus reaches out to catch the blow with his gauntleted hand!
1 bludgeon damage (20%) (left hand, gauntlets)

*** an infested colossus counterattacks!
An infested colossus punches at Black with his ridgeleather gauntlets! Melee(d700):607 vs
Parry(d563):455 = 152 (21%)
0 bludgeon damage (0%) (left arm, vambraces)

An infested colossus punches at Black with his ridgeleather gauntlets! Melee(d700):28 vs
Parry(d563):522 = -494 (-70%)
parried!

Mourn kicks at an infested colossus with its hooves! Melee(d500):476 vs Parry(d-83(-2x)):-84 = 560
(112%)
100 crush damage (left eye)
Socket crushed and eyeball popped. *mortal*

An infested colossus has been defeated.

An infested colossus falls to the ground!
An infested colossus is staggered!

?Florenza? nods to Allie.


Circle whom?


You snicker.


?Florenza? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "...Oh."


?Ciadon? blinks.

?Ciadon? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Well then."


Speaking to Mourn, you say (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Good job."


[#GAME] <Talyn> horse op

?Florenza? nods in agreement.

Black strokes Mourn's mane.
Last edited by Teri on Tue Sep 13, 2022 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
Rilulth
Posts: 178
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2018 6:22 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Rilulth »

Mourn kicks at an infested colossus with its hooves! Melee(d500):476 vs Parry(d-83(-2x)):-84 = 560
(112%)
100 crush damage (left eye)
Socket crushed and eyeball popped. *mortal*

An infested colossus has been defeated.
I was SO MAD at this!
tulpa —
If we ever get player housing, Mistralite houseshares are going to be full of this stuff. "Damnit who let the thousand-year old angry venomous moths out of their velvet pouch again?"
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Teri »

When you are incognito to some without a mask... the feel of accomplishment.


Tolliver says, "I didn't realize --."

Tolliver glances at you.

Florenza blinks.

Maya (Red) blinks at Tolliver.


say hm?


]
Maya (Red) quietly prompts, "Ya didn't realize....."




Speaking to you, Tolliver says, "I didn't recognize you."


You laugh!

Sarah laughs!

Maya (Red) cackles!

Florenza smiles.

Tolliver exclaims, "Oh, ha-ha. Very funny!"

Dylan laughs!



You remove an exquisite smooth willow naiad mask from the thick leather back-pouch (open) you are
wearing.


You put an exquisite smooth willow naiad mask on your head.


Maya (Red) amusedly says, "Aye, these people and there...heh...there masks."

Sarah places a hand on Tolliver's arm.

Tolliver nods to Maya (Red).


You say (muffled by a mask), "Does this help? Maybe no... cause it is a different mask."


You snicker.



Dylan chuckles at you.

Maya (Red) amusedly says, "I had one o' those."

Speaking to you, Tolliver says, "Oddly enough, it does."

You chuckle quietly to yourself.

Speaking to you, Maya (Red) amusedly says, "Dunno how ya walk round in those all the time. Got
anoyin' for me even just wearin' one in combat."


You say (muffled by a mask), "Hides all the squinting I do."


Maya (Red) giggles!

Dylan laughs!

Tolliver chuckles.

Sarah gives a sympathetic nod.
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
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Delphine
Posts: 134
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:36 pm

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Delphine »

[ESP-GRAY]: A black entity wryly asks, "Cerise. Lurking?"

[ESP-GRAY]: A cerise entity asks, "When am I not?"

You peer west and see ...

[Hillside Fort, Entrance to Courtyard] (OutUr) Afternoon, Chilly, Overcast, Slight Breeze
It seems as though due to the gatehouse having mostly been destroyed along with easy access onto the battlements, that this spot has turned into a temporary guard post. The old rubble has been cleared, being replaced with a weapon rack tucked away against the wall and out of the window next to a single chair. A ladder has also been propped up, offering access to the top of the outside wall.
There is a thin cloud of fog here. The area is mostly quiet.
The area is warmed by a lit squat iron brazier.
You also notice a lit squat iron brazier, a crude pine-hafted copper poleaxe (well-worn), and a crude pine-hafted copper polehammer (heavily damaged).
Also here: Baako (lightly-armored, carrying a rapier and a dagger), a short slim silvery-gray-haired adult man with alabaster skin and icy blue-white eyes (lightly-armored, carrying a crossbow, guarded by Baako), Orchid (lightly-armored, guarded by Maya), Dylan (lightly-armored, carrying a rapier and a buckler, briny), Maya (moderately-armored, carrying a javelin and a shield), ?Hreidun? (lightly wounded, lightly-armored, carrying a javelin and a shield, disguised, briny, blurry), and Black (heavily-armored, carrying a glaive).
Obvious paths: west, east, a sturdy ladder.

[ESP-GRAY]: A black entity says, "Truth."

You stealthily move west.

You notice ?Hreidun? glance your way as you enter.

?Hreidun? snickers.

You come out of hiding.

?Hreidun? waves.
You think to yourself, "I am surrounded by idiots and petulant children."

You experience a sudden flash of insight, as though you have an increased understanding of who you are.
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Teri
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:45 am

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Teri »

I had a good giggle at that moment and the timing.
Oh no, looks like I might die as I have lived. In the wrong place at the wrong time
Frisbee
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2022 7:33 am
Location: Greece

Re: Funny stuff thread

Post by Frisbee »

Speaking to ?Brat?, Lionel asks, "She's still your Captain, as far as -I- am concerned, and therefore, as far as -you- need be concerned. You will take heed of her advice, and what is more, you will obey her orders. Is that clear?"
?Brat? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Not really."
?Brat? asks (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Didn't you just give her a leave of absence?"
Lionel says, "I did."
Maya's gaze flicks to Lionel, for just a moment before it squares on ?Brat?.
Lionel says, "I did not cashier her."
?Brat? covers hir face with hir palm.
Speaking to ?Brat?, Lionel says, "THAT MEANS SACK."
?Brat? asks (muffled by a bandana-mask), "So if you would, explain what's changing as a result?"
Lionel nods.
Speaking to ?Brat?, Lionel says, "It means she has no duties. It means she is free to do as she wishes, and go where she wishes, and I am not to call on her -- as long as the leave continues in effect. It does not mean she is not your commanding officer."
?Brat? asks (muffled by a bandana-mask), "In that case, I'll obey her so long as the requests don't directly jeopardize my own safety, the town's safety, or the household's safety. Reasonable?"
Speaking to ?Brat?, Lionel says, "Perfectly reasonable! Perfectly. But it won't quite do. You are a soldier in my employ. Yours is not to reason with me. Yours is not to bargain. Yours is to obey."
?Brat? says (muffled by a bandana-mask), "Consider me a work in progress."
Lionel laughs!
Stop putting watermellons into the first thing you see that looks like it can hold a watermellon. It is most rude, because you'll only make them feel like they don't belong.
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